“Listen babe,” my wife said, as I was making a cup of tea.
“What’s up?” I asked, expecting to be given an order on my day off.
“Don’t make the bed this morning,” she said.
“Make the bed?” I said, sheepishly; she’s never told me not to make the bed. I was half expecting her to tell me it was broken, or that she’d spent our last €50 on some new sheets.
“Yeah, it’s just that I saw a spider.”
“Yeah, it was massive,”
“A massive spider? Right.”
“Yeah, and I don’t know where it went, so don’t make the bed.”
“Are you serious? It’s just a spider.”
“Just a spider? They bite. I’m getting tired of this flat already, first the ants, and now a spider. Welcome to the jungle.”
I had to laugh. Jungle indeed, I thought as I tottered into the bedroom to find the massive spider, which was about the size of a chickpea, but you know what, she was right about the jungle.
I found the massive spider again a couple of days later in the bathroom as I was following another ant trail to work out where the little bastards were coming in. The spider was perched on the side of his net, curled up in a ball watching as an ant scurried in. The spider sprung out and wrapped itself round the ant. Continue reading “Welcome to the Jungle”